From sunny Brazil to wet Wandsworth

Everyone’s favourite hard working, toe-poking striker Indio has sent us a team photo that was taken following his last game for Kings Arsenal. I’m sure he’s doing fine back in his homeland, but it’s unclear whether he has yet learned to tie a double knot:

Hot Hot Heat

Kings Arsenal wilted under the heat of the hottest day of the year, going down 6-3 to Banter Bus on Sunday afternoon.

As the mercury hit 30 degrees the Kings Arsenal engine overheated, while the air conditioned Banter Bus stayed cool beneath the scorching sun.

Only five Kings made it to the field of play and despite their bravery they sorely missed the rest bite a substitute would have provided.

Luke Tinklin was back in goal and he looked wistfully at his gloves when he was beaten for the first.

Soon it was 2-0 to Banter Bus and they went it cruise control following a solo effort that veered straight through the Kings midfield.

However, as the first half progressed Kings Arsenal started to get a foothold in the game and Davide Domenghini pulled a goal back just before the break.

And the goal lifted the Kings for the second period and they took the game to Banter Bus in search of a leveller.

First Oscarin Castiblanco, then Chris Cahalarn and then Stewart Coombs went close, but it was Davide who rifled in the equalising goal.

However, having given so much to bring the match back to all square, the weary Kings switched off at the restart allowing Banter Bus to hit back straight away.

Banter Bus had made it 3-2 within moments of Kings Arsenal tying the score and the match was effectively over.

There was a painful moment for Stew when he gave the ball away in front of his own in costly fashion, but there were no hard feelings from his team-mates because the defender had already made countless last gasp tackles.

Davide got a goal back for the Kings before the final whistle blew and the sun baked Kings could find some shade, have a drink and a much needed rest.

With just three games remaining Kings Arsenal need another win to ensure survival.

Successive Success

Kings Arsenal won for the second time in a row on Sunday night and rediscovered the flowing football that once made them famous throughout Wandsworth.

Womtner Wanderers, much improved following their recent Premiership escapades, were on the receiving end of a vintage first half display as the Kings ran out 7-4 victors.

Kings Arsenal have now gone three games unbeaten and a couple more wins should consolidate mid-table obscurity following a horrendous start to life in the second tier.

Despite spells of superb passing football, aided by runs into space, the Kings owed much to the heroics of Joe Kellam in goal and an excellent display from the returning Paul Jenkins.

Playing in a more withdrawn role then usual, because Davide was drunk (what would Roberto Mancini think?), PJ ran the show, providing some much needed composure at the back.

Kings Arsenal were already 1-0 down when goalkeeper Joe turned up, but his arrival heralded the first half dominance and his sprawling second half saves secured the win.

In attack, hardworking front duo Oscarin Castiblanco and Chris Cahalarn were the stars of show.

They are becoming a potent partnership and combined for several goals and assists, although it was Oscar, who looks a bit like Fulham striker Andy Johnson, who scored the pick of them.

In the first half the diminutive Argentine rattled a fierce shot into the top corner and drbbled from deep before hitting the back of the net thanks to a deflection, to quash Womtner’s second half fight-back.

James Payne scored a tap in, but missed another soon after that would have rounded off an incisive sweeping move.

Even Davide, who’s form couldn’t match his inebriated good spirits, was on target as Kings Arsenal survived a second half revival to run out 7-4 winners.

We are still alive!

Our Brazilian reporter Indio writes:

Kings Arsenal managed to overcome the injuries and the bad weather, beating Al Nakla in the fifth round of the Championship.

You could see that this Sunday wasn’t a typical one since it started. Maybe cause Indio showed up on time or we hadn’t had Mark running on the pitch leading King’s squad, as usual. In fact, the unique thing that happened as expected was the British rain, which turned the ground in a slippery carpet. Despite all of this, five brave Kings appeared to the match with a single idea: win at all cost. As the game started, Kings turned into jacks, missing every opportunity created with a lack of efficiency. And believe me, there were many of them. Oscar hitting the post; Indio’s head play blocked on the line; Chris almost scoring from the middle. As they say in Brazil, “who doesn’t score takes”. And the Kings took it. Three silly goals, two of them by the skillful Al Nakla striker with weird shoes, chilled the aspirations of our heroes. On the other hand, Oscar, who was on fire this Sunday, did score twice as well, one after a strange intromission from their goalkeeper and the other exploiting the inattentive position of Nakla’s players after the kick-off. The first ended with the opposition leading by one goal, as the scoreboard marked 3-2.

Stew (correct me here, cause I’m not quite sure about his name, hehe) appeared, giving more breath to the Kings. All in all, things started to improve. Now we had the ball. We had the chances. And we had the goals. With two precise shots by Oscar Arshavin and one stunning kick by Wayne Chris, allied to a consistency on the back side, Kings achieved the so wanted, needed and deserved, three points.

 
Highlights:
- Luke playing as giant, as his knee was still injuried;
- Stew making his debut with the Kings;
- Oscar’s four goals.

Time Travel

Livewire striker Indio tried to bend the rules of time and space on Sunday after he arrived 80 minutes late for Kings Arsenal’s final game of the season.

The affable Brazilian turned up for the Team Choc Ice encounter at the wrong kick-off time and utlised ground breaking physics in a desperate attempt to make things right.

First Indio tried to create a gravity well that would in turn produce a worm hole to take him back to past.

However, this proved impossible because Sainsburys was shut meaning he couldn’t gather enough obese shoppers.

Next the gutsy Internacional fan tried to run faster than the speed of light, enabling him to travel back in time using a technique made famous by Superman.

Unfortunately this also came to nothing because his much maligned shoe laces kept coming undone.

Indio has since locked himself away in his underground workshop and is trying to build a time machine.

However, Indio’s endeavours were in vain because Kings Arsenal won the match 8-5.

Injuries to the Kings’ two recognised goalkeepers and occasional stand-in James Payne meant captain Mark Tinklin donned the gloves.

Meanwhile, two ringers were needed at the start of the game after a diversion affected James Britton’s cycle route.

In truth it was a comfortable win against the side that avoided relegation at the expense of Kings Arsenal.

Oscarin Castiblanco and the returning Chris Cahalarn both scored a hat-tricks and both scored a header.

Paul Jenkins could make his long awaited comeback next week and could be joined in the side by Jimmy P, who missed out on Sunday because of injury.

And finally, Luke Tinklin could be back from his latest knee problem quicker than first feared after the club physio said there was no lasting damage.

The new season starts next week when Kings Arsenal will be playing in the second tier once again.

Back to the Championship

Kings Arsenal’s four season reign in the Premiership came to an end on Sunday, despite a 6-3 win over Al Nakhla.

The Kings produced a valiant display, fighting back from an early deficit, but a second successive win for Team Choc Ice condemned them to the drop.

Luke Tinklin made a long awaited return to his long forgotten attacking duties, playing up front for the first time in aeons following a knee injury and a goalkeeping sabbatical.

The appearance of Joe Kellam between the sticks meant Luke was needed in attack and he proved he hasn’t lost any of his trademark skills, missing five scorable chances.

Many a time did a King pull the ball across the box, particularly the energetic Oscarin Castiblanco, only for so-called striker Luke to blaze wide.

The best example of Luke’s lacklustre efforts came when captain Mark Tinklin, who continues his slow journey back to form, hit the bar from his own goal-line, only for Luke to head the resulting rebound wide.

However, jesting aside, Luke did hit the back of the net, showing admirable composure to take a touch and slot home.

Oscar was rewarded for his skilful running with two goals, a total matched by Mark, while founder James Payne bagged one.

There should also be a notable mention for debutant Craig Warren, who impressed with a composed display at the back in his first game of football in two years.

It was Oscar that put the Kings in front, only for Al Nakhla’s really good player to score two solo efforts, giving his side the lead.

However, they were two of the few times the skilful runner left his own half and Mark pulled his team back into the lead with a quickfire brace.

Kings Arsenal dominated the second half and Joe, who stretched to make several key saves, was only beaten once after the break following some typically comical defending.

The joy of a hard fought win was soon overshadowed by the news of imminent relegation, but there should be more victories to come in the second tier.

So easy that it became hard

Kings Arsenal’s resident Brazilian journalist in training, Indio, reports back from the latest Sunday Premiership match-up:

Kings Arsenal failed to achieve the desired three points against the pokey play from QGC Heroes. 

The match started on a low speed, with both teams keeping the “defence-is-the-best-form-of-attack” strategy. Gradually, the Kings managed to take the control of the game, creating more opportunities than they had to defend against. But it was exactly at this moment that QGC Villains used some counter-attack to open the score. Nothing new on that front. After conceding the first goal, the Kings kept playing their good and solid football, scoring two amazing goals: a stunning volley by James Britton, and a very technical and precise play by Mark. At this time Oscarin Castiblanco appeared to add some Argentinean tricks to the Kings’ arsenal.

The second half started and the picture didn’t change, with Oscar and Jim making some one-and-two plays, while Mark, Indio and Chris Cahalarn arduously worked to maintain possession of the ball. Suddenly, things changed, as the third goal appeared. A lack of focus and a feeling that the win would come was punished with two silly goals, one of them the weirdest free-kick ever seen. Despite the comic celebration by the Villains, the Kings managed to move forward on the scoreboard, with another volley by Jim, crowning his hat-trick. Unfortunately, more awkward defending ended up finishing in another QGC goal, meaning the game finished all square. 

A shock win for Team Choc Ice over Winstanley Tanks means that Sunday’s hard fought draw leaves Kings Arsenal at the foot of the league table. With two games remaining the Kings need the maximum six points and a six goal swing to avoid relegation.

Strong finish

Kings Arsenal went down 4-2 against Cheung Ki Koks Warriors on Sunday, despite rallying in the final stages.

The Warriors’ movement and tempo made life difficult for the Kings in the first half, but Kings Arsenal bravely took the game to their opponents after the break.

There may have only been five Kings, whereas the Warriors fielded a valuable sub, but it was Kings Arsenal that finished the strongest, scoring two late goals.

Chris Cahalarn tapped in their first after a flowing move, converting a James Payne pull back, and Mark Tinklin ended his lengthy goal drought with a driven finish.

Luke Tinklin got the assist for Mark’s goal, while Riccardo Cestari impressed in midfield, producing his best display in a Kings Arsenal shirt.

No Cigar

Just a quick summary this evening Kings as I’ve got to write up an interview with Sven Goran Eriksson…

Kings Arsenal came close, so very close, to beating unbeaten reigning champions Winstanley Tanks last night.

The Kings went into the interval 4-1 up, but shipped six second half goals on the way to a 7-6 defeat.

Italian maestro Davide Domenghini excelled against the infamous Tanks, scoring two solo goals and could have more as they struggled to deal with his skilful running.

Hardworking duo Chris Cahalarn and James Payne were rewarded for their efforts with two goals and a goal respectively.

All-action Argentine Oscar extraordinarily registered more fouls than the aggressive Winstanley, but did get a goal.

Luke Tinklin impressed in goal once again, despite getting nutmegged three times in the second half as Kings Arsenal failed to deal with the Tanks’ barrage.

Captain Mark Tinklin continues to search for his best form, but did get an assist.

In the first half Kings Arsenal exposed a high defensive line on the counter attack.

However, they struggled to keep the ball in the second half and were left with two many numbers in attack, despite trying to hold on to a lead.

Kings Arsenal should take heart from the valiant defeat and approach the imminent relegation battle with renewed confidence and vigour.

Note: The picture is an anti-tank dog. No animals were harmed, especially not a dog, in the posting of this blog.

Kings Win! Kings Win!

Finally, at the fifth time of asking in the latest season of the Pitch Invasion Wandsworth Premiership, Kings Arsenal tasted victory.

After losing all four of their first league games, the plucky Kings recorded a crucial 7-5 win over relegation rivals Al Nakhla.

Luke Tinklin was back in goal underneath the spring sunshine after more than a month on the sidelines with knee and eye injuries.

He was joined by four Kings in the matchday squad as Chris Cahalarn and Davide Domengini made welcome returns, alongside regular duo James Payne and Mark Tinklin.

However, despite their familiar five,  Kings Arsenal started slowly and relied on a goalkeeping error to get on the scoreboard, James tapping in when Davide’s shot was dropped.

Fortune also shone on the Kings for their second when a wild clearance bounced off birthday-boy Chris and nestled in the net.

Kings Arsenal took control of the match in the second half and Davide was central to their strong start.

Indeed, he scored a stunning goal straight from a restart, finding the bottom corner from the halfway line.

Al Nakhla got back into the game and their erratic goalkeeper smashed in a ridiculous half-volley, only to present James with an open goal after falling over the ball moments later.

The Kings had to survive a late scare and Luke made some trademark brave saves, but their hard work was rewarded with a long awaited and valuable win.

By the time the final whistle was blown, Davide had plundered three goals, Chris scored twice and James helped himself to a brace.